Anchor

A Word  

ANCHOR

(ˈæŋkər)

noun

a person or thing that can be relied on for support, stability, or security; mainstay

A Thought

When we are anchored in life, we feel grounded, stable, and secure. Without an anchor, we can quickly become unmoored. Imagine a ship being bounced around at sea, drifting, going off course. When the anchor is dropped and catches securely and firmly into the bed of the sea, the boat stops drifting. The captain has a chance to get his bearings, check his compass, and make decisions about his course of action. Our lives are like the sea. Sudden swells of strong emotions, stormy relationships, and things we can’t predict happen often. They catch us off guard and we can feel like a ship tossed by the storms of life. These are the moments when we most need to feel the heavy tug of our anchors. To be brought back down into our window of tolerance.

“Window of tolerance” is a term coined by Dr. Dan Siegel to describe the range of emotional experiences which a person can comfortably experience, process, and integrate. When we go outside this window, our nervous system becomes dysregulated, and we often veer off course. We act out of alignment with what we value most. We feel like a runaway train that could take down anyone who crosses our path, or we turn those intense emotions inward and act self-destructively. Our anchors help us to put on the brakes!

An Invitation

I invite you to consider the anchors you use to bring you back down into your window of tolerance. How do they help you feel calm, stable, and supported? Are there any downsides to what you are currently doing/using as an anchor? What are 3-5 additional ways you might anchor yourself when life feels crazy? Here are a few of my favorites:

• Conscious breathing

• A regular mind/body practice like yoga

• Talking to a trained listener (a coach or a therapist)

• Journaling

• Praying

I’d love to help you feel more anchored in your life. Schedule a time to chat with me!