Perspective

A Word

per·spec·tive

-a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view.

A Thought

Our perspective is our mental view of something. It’s the way that we interpret our experiences and give them meaning. This includes how we choose to see the world, others, and ourselves. You’ve heard the saying about seeing the glass half-full or half-empty? That, in essence, is a form of perspective-taking. Choosing how you interpret what you see.

Two possible perspectives are curiosity and judgment. We can interpret our experiences through either of these lenses. One assumes to know what’s going on and the other allows for a bit of uncertainty. Let’s look through both lenses in the examples below.

Example One:
Your partner comes home and is acting “weird”. You sense they are being distant and aloof.

• Judgment Perspective:
  What an ass! I can’t believe he/she isn’t even paying attention to me. I had the worst day, and he/she can’t even bother to ask me how I’m doing.

• Curiosity Perspective:
  Wow, my partner is acting “off”, I wonder what he/she is going through? Maybe they had a bad day too. Perhaps we can do something together to lift our moods, like take a walk outside. 

Example Two:
You’ve been trying to make a personal change. Perhaps changing a habit like getting to bed earlier, drinking less alcohol, or exercising more. You haven’t been as successful as you hoped.

• Judgement Perspective:
  What a loser! Why bother? This is just how you are. You’ll never change. You’re a horrible person.

• Curiosity Perspective:
  This change has been difficult. I wonder what’s behind that. I wonder if I could try something different. Maybe there is an obvious reason and I just need some help seeing this differently. Who could I ask for help?

Being able to shift your perspective is an essential element to having a “growth mindset” vs. a “fixed mindset”. A fixed mindset views failure as final. Whereas a growth mindset sees failure as data, as a tool for improvement. You can take the data, analyze it, and use it to make corrections.

We often vacillate between a growth and a fixed mindset. The key is to notice when you’ve fallen into a fixed mindset and to change your perspective. This allows you to make the necessary changes and to keep moving forward.

An Invitation

I confess that I struggle with a fixed mindset more often than I’d like to admit. In fact, it’s one of the reasons that I fell in love with coaching! I’m a verbal processor which means that I figure things out by talking to someone else, by hearing myself out loud. I will often laugh when talking to my own coach because I had the answer all along, I just needed to articulate it. By talking it through with someone trained to listen, I can shift from a fixed to a growth mindset.

I invite you to consider an area of your life where you are currently struggling. Ask yourself, am I being more curious about this situation or more judgmental? Try shifting into curiosity mode and notice how that feels compared to judgment.

Are you a verbal processor like me? If so, perhaps talking to a professional listener could help you more than you know. Schedule a time to talk to me. I love listening and helping others make the shift into curiosity, movement, and growth!

'The path isn't a straight line; it's a spiral. You continually come back to things you thought you understood and see deeper truths.' 

-Barry H. Gillespie