Untangle Yourself
Inside Out
Encouraging you to Feel Better, Shine Brighter, and Live Bigger from the Inside Out.
A Word
un·tan·gle
/ˌənˈtaNGɡ(ə)l/
Verb
free from a tangled or twisted state.
make (something complicated or confusing) easier to understand or deal with.
A Thought
Have you ever been tangled up in something? Has a situation or relationship somehow become complicated, twisted, confusing, or chaotic? Perhaps you’ve tried using something that was tangled. Maybe a necklace, yarn, rope, or fishing net. I can feel my frustration rising just thinking about it!
Imagine a scene that may or may not have happened… 😉 I’m getting ready to leave the house with one final step of putting on a necklace. I reach for the one I had in mind only to find that it’s tangled up with two other necklaces. I anxiously try to pull them apart, but they aren’t cooperating. It seems as if the harder I try, the more entangled they become. The clock is ticking, I need to leave for my appointment, and I want to wear this necklace. Finally, I throw the tangled mess on the floor. I leave the house full of frustration and without a necklace. Not the way I wanted to start my day.
Later, when I get home, I take the tangled necklaces and place them on a table where there is good lighting. I’m in no rush to go anywhere so I feel calm and relaxed. Slowly, I begin to trace the tangle back to where it originated. I find an opening where there is some slack. With the steady hand of a surgeon, I insert the sharp end of a safety pin to tease out the knot. Ever so slightly the chains start to loosen. I gently pull one chain to the side as I tease another one free from bondage. I feel Nobel prize-worthy for how smart and clever I am. Finally, the necklaces untangle. The crowd cheers and I’m brimming with pride like I just won an Olympic sport.
Am I the only one? Have you ever experienced this satisfying giddiness of untangling a knot? Where one part of you knows that it was “just a knot”, yet another part of you feels like you just climbed Mt. Everest?
An Invitation
There are several lessons I could extract from the above scenario. Things like planning and preparing so you aren’t trying to untangle something as you’re running out the door. However, the point I’d like to make today is that sometimes things get tangled, and we don’t realize it until pressure forces us to notice. Life gets busy, and things happen. One day we need clarity, but all we get is tangled. It feels confusing, frustrating, and like we can’t trust ourselves or others. We don’t know which end to pull on. It seems as if the harder you try, the tighter the knot gets. You just want to throw the tangled mess crashing to the ground.
Here is my invitation. If you sense that there are knots in your life, give yourself the space and time to calmly untangle them. Don’t wait for the pressure to force an irrational decision. Bring it into the light and gently begin the process of teasing out the truth. You might be amazed at how quickly you untangle the situation, and how amazing you feel having done it.
Here are three practices to help guide you:
Practice Acceptance. If there is a knot or several knots, acknowledge and accept what is true today. Accept yourself, the situation, the past. Everything that brought you to this moment. This is not only vitally important to untangling, but it’s also a launching pad for moving forward. Ben Hardy states “All progress starts by telling the truth”.
Practice Compassion. You may have gotten into the habit of beating yourself up. Thinking that it’s the only way to get yourself to change. This could not be further from the truth. Dr. Kristin Neff, researcher and psychologist, shares that when we turn compassion inward, it dramatically helps us to cope, develop resilience, and increase our mental and emotional well-being.
Practice the four D’s of Appreciative Inquiry
Discovery: Appreciate what is.
Dream: Imagine what might be.
Design: Determine what should be.
Destiny: Create what will be.
If you're curious about any of the practices above and want to learn what it feels like to be led through them. Schedule a complimentary Discovery Call with me to begin untangling.